I love writing. I sometimes forget amidst all the chaos that seems to be my life that I have this blog where I can share some thoughts. It is supposed to relate back to my photography, I think, but in truth all things in my life are somehow connected to my photography so I might take a stab at using this a bit more often... we'll see how it goes. (if you are looking for a blast from the past- check out my travel blog from my cross country journey when I moved from DC to Seattle at (www.washington2washington.blogspot.com)
I've had a lot on my mind these past few weeks, and with the holidays coming to a close I thought it would be good to get some of my thoughts down and share some stuff.
things i am thankful for I wonder if 2014 will have as many transitions and big events in it as 2013 did for me- Closing the doors on my first real attempt at a full time business, starting an amazing job with Turner Construction, completing my first olympic triathlon, and taking a transatlantic cruise from NY to England... among other things.
There might have also been a few (hundred) challenges this year as well.
Now let me just say-- I find intensity in just about everything I do in my life and many of my challenges do not need to be so hard, but I can't help it- I dream big and have set very high expectations for myself. Without goals, intensity, and constantly seeking to improve I tend to get bored. In the past 2 to 3 years here in Seattle I have been dealing with my challenges as openly and wholeheartedly as I can possibly do, rarely afraid to strike up conversation about them and get the perspective of the people closest to me in life. So, if you are someone who enjoys self work and is not afraid to scratch the surface a bit, then maybe you'll be interested in the stuff Im going to write below:
How do you deal with uncertainty? Personally, I hate it. I have the hardest time letting go of a thought when there is no certain left, right, up, down that I can conclude from it. I want it resolved and figured out- surely everything has an answer hidden somewhere in it, right...? Living with uncertainty and not letting it consume all my mental energy has been a big theme of 2013. Allowing yourself to accept the fact that something you might want to figure out might just need more time. As a good friend of mine just recently told me, it's ok to take that thought, put it in a box, and shelf it. When it is time to revisit it, you can pull it right back down, but in the meantime think about something else.
How about "letting go?" - another one I suck at. I remember being a kid, on a ferry with my parents. I was chewing gum and wondered what it would look like if I spit it overboard. Immediately after I did so, I wished I had it back. Amazing that after all these years I can remember that day like it was yesterday. Wishing to have something back can often lead to toxic thoughts that feel impossible to let go of, so, if you haven't ever really thought about it. Ask yourself how good YOU are at letting go, and maybe throw 5-10 minutes of thought into it. It's a tall order, and requires quite a bit of time to process, but at some point there needs to be a decisive forward moving step past it (that's the part I'm still working on myself)
The last thing I'll bring up is Patience. Sure, I bet everyone knows what that is and feels like they are pretty decent at it, but are you really? Another friend, who's somewhat of a professional in this arena, defines patience as "openly and happily accepting wherever you are right now, or whatever you are doing." which does NOT mean waiting angrily, nor is it an excuse for inactivity in the event that something that is wrong can be remedied. An (simple) example would be driving in traffic- when there is nothing you can do to fix it, so you find a way to openly and happily accept it. Seems fairly obvious, but I've whispered that line to myself about 1000 times this year whenever I feel myself start to lose my patience and 1000 out of 1000 times it has been helpful in reminding me that I dont need to get worked up or upset if I just accept whatever is going on. Before you know it, the moment has passed and it's on to whatever is coming next.
I'll leave it at that because I need to get some rest.
THANK YOU for reading this. Looking forward to a year filled with new experiences, new life lessons, and plenty of good new images to share!!
-Happy New Year.